What makes you happy? The fancy clothes you have? Or those beautiful shoes? Is your happiness found in the quality of your phone or the type of car you have? Could it be your constant academic performance or the amount of public recognition you get? What about in the beauty of your physical appearance or the number of heads that turn after your figure in lustful desire? Is it in the validation from your friends or the amount of care your parents show you?
What is that one thing if taken away from you will mean emptiness? Would you still find a reason to laugh or think it worthwhile to celebrate life?
As a teenager and some parts of my early twenties, I struggled with depression. I looked for the meaning of my name ‘Joy’ in places and people but couldn’t find a lasting source. I plunged into series of severe mood swings, tantrums, hatred and suspicion for people who genuinely cared about me. I became unproductive and a general feeling of emptiness enveloped me. The only reason I didn’t go through with the suicidal thoughts in my head was the fear of pain. That is, the pain I would feel in the process of dying.Oh, I hate pain, physical pain (I still cry and shout at the sight of a syringe till date). My browser history was filled with searches on ‘how to die.’ I wanted peace, so I wanted to die peacefully. The emotional pain was terrible.
I know what it feels to always put up a façade with a smile because you feel like no one understands. I know first hand the soft tears shed on a pillow so no one can hear you because you feel they will give you some ‘motivational self-talk’ that won’t really help. I know these and many other self-escape tactics…but the worst of these things was not being able to explain why I was feeling that way. I knew something was lacking in me, I knew my heart longed for something more than what my life’s reality threw at me, but I just couldn’t find it.
However, the case is enormously different today. I am not perfect yet. Sometimes, depressing thoughts come knocking on the door of my subconscious, but I have learnt to overcome. Every day I go to bed feeling victorious for being able to overcome those challenges and waking up much better than the lady that slept the previous night. I’m learning every day the secret of being content and happy in whatever situation I find myself. Hence, I urge you to join me on this journey to help you attain inner freedom, because only when you can let go and search in the right places can you truly be free…
I do not promise to have all the answers you may want, but I promise I can walk with you and guide you in your search for it and I trust that you will discover it just like I did. Join me in LIVING JOYOUSLY…It’s The Glee Hub…WELCOME!!!